you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The Olympian is in my bed
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
