She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
