k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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