So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
