I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
