I wanna bring you to show and tell
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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