I need help removing her.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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