New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
