You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
