we're chasing vodka with high fives
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize