I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
