but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
