can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my shit smells like andre
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
