I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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