Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
