i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
