i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
only you would photoshop your dick
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
