i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
