My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
