I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
