So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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