What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
