my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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