Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
