2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
