is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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