They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
