i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
