You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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