We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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