WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
