i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize