i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
