I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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