So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
