i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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