i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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