New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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