Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
