Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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