hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
