my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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