Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
