Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I will die if light touches me.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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