No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
