How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize