And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize