I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
