Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
