Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm passing your future prison.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
