after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
