I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
