There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
