Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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