i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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