she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
