I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize