on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
