It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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