We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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