Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
