now i know why i became what i already was.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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