Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
