Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
