I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
