I hate your face
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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