Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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