In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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